Harsh Hope
by Patented Stormbrat
Summary: NEW: Chapter Two...... In a world where Battle School never existed, the children are forced to fend with changed lifes... some more harsh than others.
1. Prologue: Pain

TITLE: Harsh Hope  
  
BY: Mandy Sinclaire  
  
Disclaimer: Fic is mine. Please don't take it without permission. Everything else is Card-sama's, and boy, does he rock. PLEASE DON'T SUE!! Fanfiction is a tribute!!!!  
  
Note: For those of you looking at this and wondering why I'm not working on Incomplete Transmission, and about to scold me mightily, I'm working on it. The next part of IT is big, and needs special care. I couldn't do that during finals, but school ends soon... So I can work on I-T and HH much more. And even start my other Ender fic. Mmm yup.*grins*  
  
Thanks to Caro, who caught the mistake with ""he almost never went at least a week without bathing"" and changed it to the current version. You rock.  
  
Prologue : "Pain"  
  
=====  
  
He was more dirty than he could remember being in his entire life.  
  
It wasn't a dirt patch here and there, or a few days without a wash. That didn't bother him -- he almost always went at least a _week_ before bathing.  
  
No, it was so much worse than that, this dirt. It was the telltale stickiness of the hair; the grubbiness of the palms. The odd scent wafting from _somewhere_, that everyone comments on and you just know it's you. Even worse than that, it was the blood.  
  
Yes, the blood. You didn't think he wasn't convincing himself he was just upset about dirt, did you? No street urchin would be upset about any amount of dirt. The fact was, he was spending all this time obsessing over it to distract himself from the fact he was currently laying on the ground, covered in blood and unable to even move. Moving earned the worse kind of punishment -- harsh pain from even a twitch of a finger.  
  
How was he still alive? He didn't know. All he knew was he regretted living during every long and excruciating moment...  
  
...and hoped someone would come along and finish the job.  
  
Footsteps thundered near his head, even this sending pain jolts through his body. For a moment, hope filled him. They were back.  
  
"Hey, ma! Look! I found a dead kid!"  
  
His eyes snapped open, and he found himself looking up at someone quite unfamiliar. Someone who did not fit this picture... Who was wearing both clean clothing, and a look of almost horrible satisfaction at finding a 'dead kid'.  
  
Bean did not have more than moment to reflect on this new turn of events before passing out.  
  
=====End Prologue=====  
  
To be continued soon!  
  
  
  
((The prologue was a little small, but the Chapter One may be too big for the prologue to wait to be uploaded till it exists..So..yeah.)) 


	2. C1: Falling into Reality

TITLE: Harsh Hope  
  
BY: Mandy Sinclaire  
  
Disclaimer: Fic is mine. Please don't take it without permission. Everything else is Card-sama's, and boy, does he rock. PLEASE DON'T SUE!! Fanfiction is a tribute!!!!  
  
  
  
====  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed. The reviewes were very nice. I squeed.:)  
  
And thanks to everyone who put up with my random insecurities about this part, minor-beta-ed it, and all around just helped. ((P-Chan, Caro, Fernie, Rin)). You guys rock.  
  
BTW: OK, I know that some things about this fic are confusing. This is to be expected, because it's an AU, but I feel I haven't made a few things clear enough.I love the books. I want to do valid tribute to them. I can assure you I wouldn't do a fanfiction like this without valid explainations for everything I do. Caro suggested an explaination for all this, and I think it fits best (It's not her exact words, but along the same lines):  
  
If anything here seems odd, don't worry. It will all be explained in due time.  
  
You'll just have to trust me.  
  
Thank you.  
  
And if anyone's wondering why exactly certain characters are in Rotterdam, once again, you'll have to trust me. You'll find out when Bean does. There is a very valid reason, and know that I do not put anything in this fanfic without developing it out first.  
  
  
  
===  
  
Chapter One: Falling into Reality  
  
======  
  
  
  
When Bean woke up, everything was different.  
  
Well, almost everything. The pain was still there, but that _was_ to be expected, really. You couldn't be beaten to an inch of your life and not suddenly wake up feeling healthy.  
  
But everything else...  
  
For starters, he was in a clean room.  
  
Not only that, but he was on a _clean bed_.  
  
Not lying on a street, or on some dirty makeshift cot made out of scraps. But a real bed, one made out of some kind of soft material he'd never have imagined possible. He had never even experienced anything close to this...  
  
...too bad he wasn't really capable of _enjoying_ it.  
  
At times like these, he almost damned his curious mind. Always working, always trying to find out the 'whys'... Never resting enough to enjoy the unexpected comforts of life.  
  
No. Even though this experience was enjoyable, and would be filed in the back of his mind to be replayed during a horrible moment, he couldn't let himself rest and appreciate it.  
  
He HAD to find out why he was here, and who had taken the care to wrap his wounds.  
  
No one ever did that on the street. To do so was a sign of weakness. (A thought nagged in the back of his head that Poke helped people like that, but he pushed it away because it was too painful.) So obviously this was someone else... One of the workers? They always hung around and tried to get the children's 'society' working right.  
  
But they had a blind spot. An ego, if you will. Constantly reassuring themselves that their work actually did _good_, they failed to see the constant battles and murders on the street. It was likely maybe one of them had dropped their blind spot, but not too likely.  
  
So no.  
  
It had to be a visitor. Someone uneducated on the streets, someone used to things like clean water and normal food. Someone so utterly appalled by everything going on that they didn't even bother to change things -- someone so appalled, they were clear of the blind spot and tried to save a near dead urchin.  
  
And suddenly he remembered.  
  
A child had found him.  
  
"...Are you awake?"  
  
The voice scared him, jolted him out of his thoughts. It was almost as if the moment he remembered, it was a cue for this person to speak.  
  
If Bean followed his basic, animal instincts, he would have immediately jumped under the bed and hid from both this appearance of _unfamiliar people_ and the unfamiliar surroundings. But he had long learned to control those basic instincts, and to wait on them untill he was quite sure he was right. That could take anywhere from a minute to a day.... and even if there was danger here, he was willing to risk it.  
  
He'd been expecting to die earlier, anyway.  
  
He didn't answer, only slowly looked to the direction the voice came from(speed partially for show, partially because he really _couldn't_ move that fast.). The voice had been that of a male child, and so he fully expected to find the face from earlier.  
  
He was surprised, however, to find another face. A face, while similiar, was obviously a completely different child -- related, maybe? Younger, sharing a few of the same features.  
  
The other kid smiled.  
  
"Hi."  
  
Bean's mouth worked for a moment, while his brain tried to calculate an answer. But unfortunately, his mouth didn't _wait_ for his brain to provide one, and jumped ahead of him, words spilling out of his mouth.  
  
"Who _are_ you?" Bean demanded, provoking a startled look from the strange child.  
  
Bean watched as he hesitated for a moment. "I.. I better go..." The words sent panic through Bean. No, not now!! Not when he was going to find out...why!!  
  
"No!" Bean said quickly, a little more desperation showing than he should have allowed. A bandaged hand reached and grabbed the corner of the stranger's shirt. Held tight.  
  
"Please..." And for one of the few times in his life, Bean let all his emotions show. And waited, with caught breath...  
  
The child first looked down at Bean's hand. Staring at the grip on his shirt for a moment, then bringing his gaze up... strong brown eyes meeting Bean's own.  
  
And for the first time in his entire life, Bean was struck dumb.  
  
The eyes...  
  
How could someone's eyes hold such a powerful shade of great innocence, and yet give you the feeling that they provided the gate to a soul that knew very many things.... and was capable of even looking deep inside _you_?  
  
After studying him again, and looking deep into his eyes, the boy smiled once again. The doubt and shock and hesitation all seemed to melt away... and left only the look of a sweet child.  
  
"My name's Andrew Wiggin. What's yours?"  
  
-----  
  
Andrew knew he had just made a big mistake.  
  
But one mistake earned another. His family had made a great mistake, risking saving a strange child. Let alone bringing him to their _rooms_.  
  
But that could be explained off. The kid prolly wouldn't even tell on them, so grateful from them saving him from utter death. Not that he could anyway -- not without knowing who they were.  
  
But that's where Andrew's mistake came in.  
  
For the first time in his family's new life, he had told their name.  
  
Not their cover name. But their secret name, one held close and not even spoken within their family.  
  
Their _real name_.  
  
Wiggin.  
  
It was a powerful word, and now this strange kid held a power over them. Few people held that power. When they chose who got it and who didn't, they chose carefully, and always discussed it for hours.  
  
Not blurted it on on a whim, just because you looked into some kid's eyes and thought you saw something you could trust.  
  
But Andrew had a good feeling about this... and good feelings were always to be followed...  
  
Right?  
  
That, or he was just extremely dumb.((Which, according to Peter, was the grim reality.))  
  
But no matter how idiotic he was, one fact was cemented in stone.  
  
He couldn't let anyone find out untill he knew for sure the consequences.  
  
"Bean." The strange kid -- Bean -- answered him. Andrew couldn't help laughing at the name, which only earned him a pertrubed look from the smaller boy.  
  
"My name is not funny." Said in the true voice of a young child -- hurt a little, but covering it with stubborn anger. Andrew could only grin at that -- even though this... Bean... seemed to be extremely smart (you could tell just by looking at him. Those eyes! So full of logic.), he was still a kid underneath like Andrew.  
  
That thought encouraged him to go on.  
  
"No, it's not. I'm sorry." He shook his head slowly, playing the adult peacemaker. "It's not fun to have anyone laugh at your name."  
  
His parents would laugh at this -- 'How cute! Little Andrew trying to play big' -- but it worked well usually. [1] Only Bean's reaction would say if it worked well here or not.  
  
"It's ok." Bean nodded. Andrew was guessing the kid was probably still trying to figure out whether Andrew was for real or not -- but at least he was talking to him.  
  
"Andrew!"  
  
Of course. The inevitable interruption. His mother, wondering where he was. What would she do if she found him talking to the "stranger"?  
  
He wasn't going to stick around to find out.  
  
"Go to sleep. Now!" He whispered hurriedly. Bean's hand, once forgotten about, dropped from the shirt when Andrew made it clear he didn't want to hurt him(but didn't want to stick around either). Released from this hold, Andrew gave Bean one more look, before running out of the room.  
  
"Yes, mom?!?!"  
  
"Oh, there you are." She gave him a worried look. "What were you doing?"  
  
Andrew smiled to himself, forming a quick lie in his head. If there was nothing else Peter had taught him, it was how to lie to their parents.  
  
"I was playing with a magic bean!!" Playing the part of an imaginative child.  
  
Which he was, of course.  
  
If only they knew how imaginative...  
  
Then maybe they'd have a clue as to what he was going to do next.  
  
=============End Chapter 1====  
  
  
  
  
  
[1] = Yes, I know, they treat their kids like geniuses. But I also see them teasing them. ^^ 


	3. Chapter Two: The Tangled Webs We Weave

A new dawn, a new morning.  
  
The pain was still there, of course. While it had ebbed away slightly, it had lots none of its insistence -- a painful throb in every part of him. So that hadn't changed. Nor had HE changed -- the one singular steady rock in a crazy world.  
  
Once more finding himself in this room. This strange room, that offered so little to him. The walls were blank, and while the bed was comfortable, he wanted more. His mind was curious, ready to go.  
  
Curious about what?  
  
There was a reason he was in here. The blows to his body and his head had stumbled him for now...lessened his abilities for the moment. This would heal, it always healed. But for now he had to deal with a slight handicap, his body affected by pain and healing and able to give less to his brain functions.  
  
It took a moment to remember, but he did.  
  
And suddenly, he wondered if he hadn't changed as well.  
  
This boy.... Andrew. What did he want from Bean? For the first time in his life, Bean was curious about someone for no reason relevant to his life. Not finding out would not harm him. Not finding out would not starve him, would not make his life in grave danger...  
  
But he desperately wanted to find out anyway.  
  
This had never happened before.  
  
Why was he even sure that the boy had wanted something? Maybe this Andrew was just...curious about what the family had brought home. This was possible, but something in his body language...in the way Andrew had acted.... made Bean think that he'd wanted something more.  
  
Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.  
  
Because the facts still stood as previously stated. Bean was curious himself. And, at least for a bit, he had an aim to live -- even if it was a rather...flimsy reason.  
  
This kid intrigued him.  
  
And Bean was determined to find out more....  
  
===========  
  
Sometimes Peter had a high opinion of his parents. Sure, they could be idiots. But sometimes, just sometimes they would do something to surprise him...whether it was make a sudden smart decision, or just something out of character.  
  
This wasn't one of those times.  
  
As a matter of fact, his opinion of them was almost beating the all time low.  
  
They were good parents, but that didn't mean they were all that perceptive. Peter prided himself in having an ability they obviously didn't -- not letting feelings for somebody cloud being able to see what they really are.  
  
He turned his fork in the dinner his mother had made -- spaghetti, today -- and slowly wound the noodles around his fork as he glanced at his parents.  
  
/They sit there, just fucking clueless. They don't have any clue what their youngest is up to... Sometimes I wonder, really I do./  
  
They had a blindspot when it came to two of their children. Ender and Valentine? They could do whatever the hell they wanted, and the Wiggin parents wouldn't notice unless it was something really big. Because it took that to smack them over the head and go 'Look what your children are doing!'  
  
Valentine didn't usually do things, which made Peter's job easier. But Andrew...  
  
Andrew was always up to something.  
  
It was obvious that Andrew was up to something again. He did this so often. And Andrew's plans almost always backfired....  
  
Sometimes Peter really hated that little kid. Whenever he did something wrong, it was Peter who had to clean up the damage. To take the blame. Their parent's blindspot hadn't existed for Peter for so long... but had reversed. Now they saw everything he did, and everything he didn't.  
  
All just so their little perfect image would stay intact.  
  
He didn't even know why he did it. _His_ image in his parent's eyes needed all the help it could get -- and covering up for Andrew's little schemes didn't do anything good for it. Even though he'd been so good lately. He knew his mother was afraid of him, because of what had happened, what'd he'd done... And he couldn't fix it. It could never be fixed. It was all he could do to try to fix _himself_, to refuse to take the medication they tried to make him take, to dump it when they weren't looking... .to deal with the crackpot doctor and still try to ignore the urges he got that had NO way to channel out that had no way to deal with and just try not to STRANGLE someone sometim--  
  
Peter realized he had the fork in a deathgrip, and he forced his fingers to loosen. Staring down at the plate, he ate the abandoned bite of spaghetti.  
  
Maybe he did it because he had as much as a softspot for the kid as his parents did.... It was a disgusting thought, but probably true.  
  
"What did you do today, Peter?" Shocked out of his thoughts, Peter looked up at his mother, inwardly wincing. /She saw that little display...I've got to be less weak, and hide it more./  
  
"Nothing, Mother." /As if you'd let me. I tried all fucking day to get in to see the kid I _saved_... Of course, you let Andrew but not me... You'll never trust me... Not even when I proved myself YET again yesterday by getting that stupid kid away from that other sick little bastard.... 'Look, I found a dead kid!'. Yeah, whatever, kid, poking somebody with a stick isn't exactly impressive on a resume./ "Slept a lot."  
  
"Are you coming down with something?" She looked concerned, and put a hand on his forehead. It took all his strength to keep from recoiling.  
  
"I'm _fine_." He didn't mean to, but the statement came out a bit too snappish, a bit too...angry. That was always the problem. He knew what would happen now, and he could cue it to the exact second. 2 seconds. 1, 2. There. His mother removed her hand, and looked a bit hurt. 1, 2. She hid the look, glanced at his father, and looked down at her hands. Folded them. 1, 2. His father gave him the _look_, then hid it as well. 1, 2. The guilt over something he couldn't control built up, untill he had to dig his fingers into his leg to keep from showing it. He got a lot of bruises from this.  
  
1, 2.  
  
\What a picture perfect family.  
  
Dammit.\  
  
====  
  
Dinner was finally over, and Andrew was glad of it.  
  
Family gatherings were painful. They had always been like that, and would always be like that. It was always because of stress. Whether it was the stress of never staying in one place, or the stress of trying to get yet another psychiatrist to understand Peter, or the stress of his parents trying to find quick jobs and finding graveyard jobs that they were so much smarter than....  
  
Everyone was tired.  
  
It was his fault. He knew it.  
  
But the point of something being your fault is you should fix it, right? He could apply simply logic to this. He'd first figured out 2 years ago that if he left, his family would be OK. He caused the problem by being born. So he could fix it by going.  
  
But Peter always managed to stop him. Not even Peter knew _why_ Andrew made schemes, but he still stopped him.  
  
Peter wasn't going to stop this one, and it was time to start before Peter clued in that he was up to something again.  
  
He took a deep breath to gather courage, and smiled at his father."Daddy?"  
  
His father looked down at him, smiling back. His father really did love his son...Andrew knew that. But he also knew that they'd get over him leaving quick enough. Because they'd be able to stay in one place. They'd be happy....  
  
"Can I go to bed early?"  
  
This triggered another wave of worries in his mother, a lot like the one directed at Peter during dinner. She glanced at him, and hesitated before asking if he felt ok. Peter's displays of anger used to be so bad, that even the little ones that came now hurt his mother badly. Made her almost afraid of her every move.  
  
That was Andrew's fault, too.  
  
He made sure to be quick with an answer when his mother's concerns were voiced. "I'm fine! I just couldn't get to sleep last night... And I want to be all ready for studies tomorrow!" He inserted as much perk as he could into this statement, an attempt to satisfy his mother enough that she wouldn't check on him. If she did, everything would be _ruined_.  
  
He had a lot to ask of Bean, and it'd require a lot of explaination.  
  
And that required time.  
  
If his mother was worried enough about him, she'd ask Valentine to keep an eye on him...or worse, stay home from her job and take care of him. There'd be no way to sneak into Bean's room then. It wasn't as if he could insert himself into an airduct and get into the room that way.... it had to be done carefully.  
  
"I'm really OK, Mommy." He smiled at her, giving his best 'I'm so adorable please believe me I'd never lie' look.  
  
It almost never failed, and this was no exception. She fussed over him a bit more, then reluctantly let him go.  
  
Andrew left the room as quick as he could..... missing the suspicious look Peter gave his way. If he'd seen it, he would have halted his plans and kept them for another night.  
  
But he hadn't seen it, and he didn't know that he was about to get himself into a hell of a lot of trouble...  
  
He retreated to his room for a safe amount of time. Got himself ready for bed. Put on his favourite pajamas, and pretended to doze for awhile. His mother checked on him once before she left, and he waited untill about 10 minutes after he was sure they had left before he got up and crept to the door.  
  
He opened the door a little, and listened.  
  
Waited.  
  
Nothing... Val and Peter were either in bed or wouldn't be able to hear him. He pushed open the door enough to be able to slip out, and snuck down the hallway towards the room where Bean was.  
  
He put his hand on the door, and braced himself for the move that would change his life.  
  
And turned the knob.  
  
=======  
  
Annddd......... New part soon!!!  
  
Sorry this one took so long. I got blocked. But it's broken.  
  
:)  
  
Thank you to everyone for your nice reviews.... they were my motivation for breaking my block on this story. I hope you enjoyed this part!!!!  
  
:)  
  
======= 


End file.
